Zapman Goes On a Slide, A Slide Into Chaos

Who is Zapman? Why is he eating batteries? Why is he on a slide? How do you even beat this game?

I'm here to answer one of these questions.

Zapman Goes On a Slide is a game

Zapman Goes On a Slide is a certified memorable experience. The tagline boldly proclaims "woo zip zip aagh grah gah". I couldn't have said it better myself

When the game is loaded up, players are greeted with "EAT BATTERIES". The letters jump around and turn out to be physics objects, so this eventually reads "EAT TBATREEIS" and later still "TBAREES".

Panic-stricken music plays in the background, contributing to the uncomfortable feel of the game.

What even is Zapman? He looks like a jumbled mess of polygons with arbitary pink lines pivoting out of his body.

In "Zapman Goes On a Slide", Zapman goes on a slide

T-posing rag-dolls are poised at various locations, contributing nothing but further confusion.

Zapman can move and jump, but in order to survive the slide he must consume batteries. Each battery devoured increases your time limit to 5 seconds. Time is always ticking away, and if not enough batteries are absorbed, then you will be forced to restart until you break this time loop.

Fortunately Zapman is armed with a secret weapon, he can jump infinitely. Although that's not actually useful, because the batteries are all at regular jumping height.

If one is to perservere with this game, they will eventually beat it, realising that the goal is to travel down the 'slide' (which is actually a hollowed out cylinder) and land on a small platform at the end. One final mid-air battery is all that stands between success and failure.

Once this is accomplished, the player is met with a glorious victory screen proclaiming "UR WINNER!=". The Anthem of Europe plays, whilst what sounds like a sample of a strimmer (weedwhacker if you're American) plays over the top of it.

A fine ending screen

What a transcendent experience. I would recommend it to everyone.

Get Zapman Goes on a Slide on Itch IO

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